Sunday, November 9, 2008

Ignorance is Not Bliss

I'm sure I'll be feeling like this a lot over the next 20 years or more, but I am often overwhelmed by my feelings of ignorance as a parent. I don't think I'm doing a poor job, there's just so much I have to learn!

Up until this past week, Ben has had a lot of grouchy phases, and we were surprised that he couldn't seem to nap during the day unless I was walking or jogging with him. I could barely shower or feed myself when it was just me at home with Ben, and we could tell Ben was really frustrated.

Our friends KT and AT recommended the book On Becoming Baby Wise, which they used for our godson JT. It finally came into the library and we started implementing its feed-wake-nap schedule a few days ago. I'm still feeding him on demand, but the critical difference from what we were doing is putting Ben down for naps as soon as he shows signs of drowsiness and letting him settle down on his own. Sometimes he goes right to sleep and doesn't even fuss. Other times he'll cry for a minute or two and then fall to sleep. He's so much happier and eats more efficiently. It seems counter-intuitive that he sleeps better at night because he has more sleep during the day, but it has been the case.

I feel guilty that he's spent the last 2 months feeling exhausted because I wouldn't let him doze off on his own. Whenever I tried to rock him to sleep and hold him while he napped, he just couldn't calm down. After just a few days, I can better interpret his nap cues, put him down before he becomes overtired, and find him refreshed when he awakes. I don't expect this concept to work for every family, but I feel more confident as a mom with a plan (albeit a flexible one), and Ben acts reassured as his body gets into a rhythm and he can anticipate what's coming next.

2 comments:

Jackamo said...

HOORAY!!!! Baby Wise wasn't the thing for us, but it certainly worked extremely well for a lot of our friends. I'm glad it is helping you out and that Ben is a much happier camper now!!

Manalive said...

I also recommend the sequel to Baby Wise for advice on raising a puppy. It's called, of course, "Hound Foolish".

Scott